After my traumatic experience with my first birth - I never thought I would go down this path again. It happened though and it was wonderful and not what I expected a year or so before it happened.
It is absolutely amazing how the circumstances in your life can make such a huge difference to how you experience your pregnancy and labour.
When I was about three months pregnant I divorced my husband. I was pregnant with his child and my first child was also his son but the abuse I went through in the marriage and the affect it was having on my first child was too much. I did not want my second child going through what my first child went through. Diaan (number 1) was a year and half when I took that step. If it was not for my children I probably would have stayed... but it was not just about me any more. My children were now involved and I was not going to let anyone hurt them - even if it meant leaving their father.
As heartbreaking and emotional as it was it was one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life. One of the hardest too.
I met another man, just after leaving my ex-husband. He embraced me and my children (both my 1 year old and unborn child) as his own. He changed my world. The world was a happy place - I felt lighter - I now knew what it meant to be loved - and loved properly - and to love properly back in return. My toddler was happier, I was happier and I felt how happy my baby was inside of me - because mommy was happy so was he. My pregnancy was a breeze.
He came with me into theatre when it was time for my c-section. He even put his running shoes on and was pacing the hospital floor like a tiger in its cage - he was so excited. He held my hand every step of the way - he was there at the operating table. And when Blake entered this world, his beautiful face was lit up - a glorious moment when you get that first look at your baby - I saw the glitter in my partner's eyes. My little boy was born into unconditional love from his mother, my partner and his big brother. My partner held him while they sewed me up and he looked at him as if he was his own.
Diaan came to meet his baby brother the same day. He was so soft and gentle. Such a wise little boy he is. He looked at me and softly touched my arm while he sat on the hospital bed next to me, and he looked at his brother with awe. To this day he has been his protector.
I recovered in about a week. Almost 4 times more faster than my first time.
I was so scared about how things would work with a second child but everything blended in perfectly. And still does.
How blessed I am to have these two amazing children in my life and to have such an amazing partner.
Thank you for choosing me as your mother.
<3
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