CHILDBIRTH

My thoughts on childbirth... well for starters I am completely and obstinately determined to have as a natural childbirth as possible. Recently though I have come to the realization that I should probably not set my hopes up too high on this and expect all things to go to plan as I might end up being disappointed. I know anything can happen in child birth, or with anything in life for that matter, so I am working on trying to prepare myself for the chance that maybe things won't go as I have planned, but that spark of hope and determination that it will is still there (big and bright). I am having a very low risk pregnancy in any case so why not get my hopes up just a little? Hehe

I do not talk about this with many people though as I do get the odd look here and there from people who think that I am being naive or who maybe think I have no clue as to what I am letting myself into. I don't know what to expect, that is true! I have never given birth before but does this mean that I am not allowed to get excited or look forward to the experience? 

The way I see it is that woman have been giving birth naturally since the beginning of mankind, why should it be any different nowadays? Waaaay back then there were not even doctors or medical experts etc around to help mothers give birth, they did it all on their own. So I feel and I  also instinctively know that when it is my time to bring my baby boy into this world all my womanly and motherly instincts will set in and my body will know what to do and everything will come naturally and happen as it is supposed to, its wired into our brains just like a newborn instinctively knows how to breastfeed from the moment he is born into this world. 

I know that it is not going to be the most easiest thing in the world and that there will be pain involved (or maybe not, who knows) but I also know that no matter how hard it is on me and even if I feel like I can't carry on, the thought of me holding my precious baby boy and welcoming him into this world with arms wide open and hearing his cry for the first time and seeing him taking his first breath - it will ALL be worth it in the end. Every single struggle I have had in my life up until that moment will be worth every second and I cannot wait to experience that. 

So I will look forward to my natural birth and I will feel excited! If because of a very good reason I am unable to give birth naturally I think I will also be fine so long as my baby is healthy and strong, but for now while the reality of a natural childbirth is quite real, I'll be looking forward to it. 

I have this image in my mind of my child's soul dancing its way into this world and my mine welcoming him in return. 

 “To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking” 

― Agnes De Mille

ESPAVO! <3

I Found My Purpose

“A mother's body remembers her babies-the folds of soft flesh, the softly furred scalp against her nose. Each child has it's own entreaties to body and soul.” ― Barbara Kingsolver

So I am 26 weeks 4 days pregnant today. I am loving every moment – even the icky bad ones – while pregnant. I actually think that I will in some ways miss being pregnant.

 

Feeling my baby’s movements inside my belly every day – knowing that soon I will be able to hold our little one in my arms brings a permanent smile to my face and an overwhelming sense of calm and happiness. A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.

Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of Mother's Love. - Maureen Hawkins

I am partly scared for the experience of birth as I am not sure about what to expect – I want to give birth naturally so so very badly, I want to have that first bonding moment with my child. Knowing that I will hold you in my arms and have you with me safe and sound is what keeps me strong and unafraid. I look forward to every moment of every day and experience spent with you.

"Birthing is the most profound initiation to spirituality a woman can have." - Robin Lim

My whole life I have been wondering what my purpose is, why am I here, what is the point... The answer was there all along and I think I knew it all along too. Being a mother to my child is my purpose, to help my partner bring this beautiful boy up to become the best he can be. To show him what love is, to fill his life with love so that he too will be able to share that love with others. To guide him in the right direction so that he can build on himself to reach his potential, help him through his mistakes and hardships, to show him that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and to never give up. Never give up on reaching that light and never give up on what he believes in. With love anything is possible.

It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard

My child is the closest I will ever come to magic, our miracle that has grown from a tiny seed into a blossoming bundle of joy, a combination of both families’ genes, a unique and beautiful soul - all while still inside my belly. Ready to take on this world.

He is an extremely active baby in utero – I feel him every 5 to 10 minutes every day. Kicking and somersaulting and swishing around. I feel and take this as a sign of strength and one of his wonderful characteristics.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” 
― Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!

We cannot wait to welcome you into this world and to hold you in our arms. Mommy and daddy are waiting patiently for your arrival and for our journey and path in life to start together (although,  all three of us have actually already started our journey together haven’t we...)  :) All our love forever and always.

Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.
- Kate Douglas Wiggin