THIS IS THE POINT - Connectivity

Life (NBC TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently I had a conversation with someone about what the meaning of life is – and how some of us (including me) can fall into a depression about “what the point is” when it comes to this life.

This feeling of depression and feeling of being defeated normally gets triggered by seeing and hearing about all these horrible things happening in the world today – which I normally don’t ever elaborate on because I do not want to focus any energy on those negative things as I feel that just gives that negativity more power. But for the purpose of what I want to get across today I am talking about the crime we see on the news and hear on the radio and the abuse humankind is inflicting on each other and on Mother Earth. The reality of it all hits home - that things like this have always been happening and so probably will continue to happen.

This makes a person wonder why? What is the point of being here if this is what is happening. It personally makes me sick… We feel like we are stuck here in this terrible place and then when we pass away on to wherever we go (depending on what you believe in) does it even matter? This can make a person very depressed and that causes other things like anxiety, anger and all sorts of other emotions – which in turn may result in more negative actions. A vicious cycle if you ask me…

We try and make ourselves feel better about this all and so use things like materialism, work and in my case substance abuse. Which as you know does not really help the situation either – and only makes it worse… Again, a vicious cycle is happening here.

So how do we overcome this feeling of helplessness? Is there a way of getting over it? The most asked question always comes to mind – what is the meaning of life…

The way I have learned to overcome this feeling and to stop myself from falling into that realm of confusion, helplessness and depression - and from being part of the vicious cycle is this – Connectivity!  - We are all connected

I think about all the people in my life who are positive and good and who love me. This then reminds me that if I have people like this surrounding me then there are obviously a lot more other people out there who are just like these good and positive people I have been blessed to have in my life. So even though there are “bad” people out there – there are a lot of “good” people out there too. And this in turn makes me feel better about the world. We need to get out of our little box of selfishness (ego) and remember that there are a lot of other people out there experiencing the same things we are experiencing (in their own way) and that we are not the only person on this earth/in this universe.

Life (Photo credit: bitzcelt)

Look back on your life and remember all the good things you have done and all the things you have achieved. Also look back on your mistakes and remember how you overcame those mistakes and obstacles which helped you to become a better person. Doing this will help you to build on what you already have achieved so far in this lifetime. Each time you feel there is no point look back at what you have already achieved and then also remember how these things have made your world and in turn another person’s experience of you and their world better.

It helps to remember that everything is connected – everything you do will in turn affect another person and the more positive your actions the more positive the effect will be on not only yourself or the person you are directly connected to BUT the rest of the world too! THIS IS THE POINT!

Yes we are all tiny little specks in this big world we live in BUT everything we do has cause and effect and so we all make a huge difference in this world we live in.

Getting all upset and angry about feeling that there is no point in this life and so on is selfish and it is egotistical! Even though you might think that locking yourself up in your room sulking or smoking that joint or walking around moping is not affecting anyone – you are wrong. There are people in your life connected to you and everything you do AND the way you treat YOURSELF (not only others) will affect the people in your life (even if it is just one person).

I know that we can’t always be happy and spirited with a spring in our step all the time. I mean, that will just make us feel like we are living in Teletubby town – but the point is to remember that we are all connected and to remember that our actions are affecting others and in turn the world. Sit with that negativity you are feeling, feel the emotions and work through it – and then overcome it, because that is the POINT.

Espavo! 

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• Self Pity, and the Power of Confidence

A quiet little place

Keep a quiet little place
Where only you can go
A place securely set aside
To think, to breathe, to grow

Don't think that you will be lonely there
For God is close beside you
His messages will all come through
To comfort and to guide you

Lifes burdens grow much brighter
For all those who have set apart
A quiet place for God to dwell
At peace within the heart.

I memorized this poem as a little girl and it has stayed with me my whole life.

I wanted to share it with everyone as it has helped me stay calm and relaxed in many situations where I found it difficult to handle life.

Espavo

Writing a book -Finally!!

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to write a book. With all that has happened in my life and the experiences I have had I have always thought that I would write about them one day and maybe help people with this book by giving advice and writing about what I have gone through and how I overcame all the difficulties.

There have been a few things holding me back though which is why I have never really ever taken that step forward. Will I offend someone? What do I write about, there are so many different things? - Will it turn out to just be mumble jumble. How do I even start with writing a book? And so on...

Thanks to my sister's advice I have made that first step though. She told me to just start writing and then we will see from there. I feel like I am overflowing with information that I just want to write down thanks to her support and the support I have received from everyone else in my life. Knowing that they all think I should do this gives me the confidence I need.

This was my first step - to write it in my blog - I have now committed to it! :)

Here is to 2013 being an awesome year with all my ventures becoming huge successes. This year has already brought me all the opportunities I need for me to accomplish all the dreams that I have been wanting to fulfill! This star is going to shine brightly. :)

ESPAVO!

Birth Story

Well, I’m back and we are now also blessed with a precious little baby boy we have named Diaan.

In my previous posts I have spoken about natural birth etc. Well, let me tell you that nothing went according to plan. *shy smiling face*

I have decided to write out my birth story from start to finish – I hope you enjoy it and that it helps at least a few to-be-mommies out there.

Our Birth Story

I remember waking up on the day I gave birth to my precious boy all excited and positive that I was finally going to keep steady contractions and start dilating. I was also completely exhausted after having three gel inductions over a period of 24 hours. The first gel induction did nothing, the second one, a much stronger one, brought on contractions but they only lasted a short while. I also kept the thought in mind that my dream of having a natural birth might not happen, but yes – I still had my hopes up.

I remember looking out the window from the hospital room which had been my home for almost a week now – and for a whole week before that – and seeing that it was a beautiful warm day outside. It was nice and cool inside my room and I was calm. My husband was also on his way and so were my mom and granny. The doctor had told us that if I didn’t go into labour “naturally” today he will have to do a caesarean as my amniotic fluid was very low. I felt happy and calm any way – I couldn’t wait to meet my baby boy!

The doctor came in for his normal morning check up. The monitor showed that baby’s heart beat was perfect but I had only dilated half a cm and the inductions were not working. He broke my waters which was very very little. It was about five minutes later and the contractions started. PROPER contractions! My husband was right there with me though and he held my hand through every one. It was painful but it was a good pain! My mom was waiting outside and I went to sit with her, standing up each time a contraction started and swaying through them. The morning went by with me and my husband pacing the halls ways, getting through the contractions….. and then they got slower. The monitor showed they were also not strong enough… and off I went to the labour ward.

They hooked me up to a drip with a stronger type of induction and back onto the foetal heart monitor and flat on my back. A minute later I felt the contractions again – much stronger and MUCH more intense! My poor husband looked like he was feeling each one of them with me. After an hour or so of that I opted for some pain medication which helped for about half an hour. At 1pm the doctor came in to check on me and I had not dilated at all! He however respected my decision to have a natural birth and gave me the choice to carry on for another few hours on this induction. After he left my husband broke down – he could not watch me go through anymore pain. He called the doctor back as he was getting in his car to leave and so was the beginning of my caesarean birth!

The nurses came in to prep me and my mom came in for support. My husband was not handling anything very well and had been crying for quite a while. He could not handle watching someone cut me open – he said his protectiveness over me will cause him to do something irrational and so my mom came with me into surgery. Hubby was right out side the door – all tear stained and anxious. I on the other hand felt all calm and relaxed. I was trying very hard not to freak out, I am very scared of needles but I could not imagine giving birth unconscious and so I was going to have an epidural.

They wheeled me in to surgery and explained all that was going to happen. I sat up and waited for the anaesthetist to give me the epidural. He was a soft and kind doctor and I think the emotional and mental “pain” was sorer than the actual giving of the epidural – I actually didn’t even feel a thing - physically.

My legs and hips went numb and as I was about to panic I saw my mom’s eyes through the hospital mask. I calmed and I felt ready – I didn’t say a word.

The next thing I knew I heard my mom saying that she could see him and his little pink feet appeared over the screen and then his whole body! He was so clean, there was very little blood – I don’t remember any blood actually and he was pink all over! My beautiful baby boy! I remember the doctor saying that he had cheeks like his mommy. I couldn’t help but laugh. They took him to the side to do the tests. He scored 10 out of 10 for both his apkar scores! They brought him to me and I stared into his beautiful dancing blue eyes for what seemed a life time and then he went to spend some time with his daddy while they sewed me up.

That vision of my baby boy will forever be a part of me – his beautiful dancing eyes – the most magical feeling in the world.

After leaving surgery they took me to my room where I was able to spend time with family but all I wanted was my baby. They brought him to me and I breast fed him immediately! He was such a hungry bub and he latched on perfectly straight away and had his first bowel movement a few minutes later. My husband just couldn’t stop taking pictures and I will forever remember that proud look in his eyes.

Our lives have been changed forever and you really did take our breathes away when you were born my special precious boy. We are so honoured that you have chosen us to be your parents and we promise to love and care for you for as long as we live and to cherish every moment spent with you. Thank you Higher Power for bringing this wonderful baby into our lives.

So in the end nothing went to plan – but let me tell all the mommies out there who are also planning to have a natural birth but are worried that they might have to have a c-section – its not all that bad. The after pain and recovery is not something to laugh at though but it is worth it. A c-section is not the end of the world. In fact we are lucky to have had one as we found out later that the cord was wrapped around our baby’s neck and a tiny bit of his skin had also been cut open a little bit on his head from the pressure. In the end it was the right decision!

ESPAVO!