LIFESTYLE

*I was having a little bit of trouble accepting my body before writing this blog (something I think all women or men go through from time to time.) After losing 20kg I would think I  should be happy with myself and grateful for all my weight loss and my healthy lifestyle  - but I am still skeptical and unsure about how I feel and look right now - It could just be a stage though - but it got me thinking a little deeper into this subject which also inspired me to get up and moving more again.*


Let me summarize what I have gone through in my life so far with regards to lifestyle so that you can get a better idea of where I am coming from:-


I have never had a big problem with weight, I have always had a fast metabolism and have been (for most of my life) active. 4 years ago however, I took a turn for the worst in this regard. I let myself go, fell into depression, was jobless for about 6 months and picked up a huge amount of weight. I do not know if the weight gain was directly as a result of these things that were happening in my life but it happened and I get the feeling the negative things in my life were actually the result of my weight gain - read on for an explanation. 


To make things worse - I was not exactly aware of the fact that I was overweight (actually obese on the BMI scale but ja...) - I really do not know how I was not aware of it, must have been something physiological to do with it... Until one day I got told to my face (in a very nasty way) that I was fat! This made me actually LOOK in the mirror properly for the first time - and not only did I realize that I was overweight and did not like the physical reflection I saw in the mirror but I also disliked the person I had become inside. - and I think from then on I made it my goal to make a positive change. 


I was going to get myself back on track in all aspects of my life and so changed my lifestyle. The first step I took was a food diary and I became careful and more aware about the types of food I ate  and when I ate them, I also stopped going out and drinking so much which also made me realize what bad friendship choices I had made. - then came exercise which then helped me become even more stricter with my food choices which also then led to me becoming a runner - running 2km-3km  3 to 4 times a week! I also remembered how to dance again, there is nothing better than turning up the sound system or putting on your earphones and dancing it all out in front of the mirror or in the lounge. :-D I not only noticed an amazing change in my body but in my attitude as well. My social life changed for the better, I had like-minded and well moral friends who shared the same interests as me and that were GOOD for me and my man. I treated people better, my relationship with my love ones blossomed and I could handle stress and pressure with no problem at all. I no longer had emotional outbursts or depression - I felt alive again.


[This feeling of feeling alive mostly comes from the exercise - the feeling of running and the after effects of it reminds me of the feeling I get when I dance - I think the word to use that best describes this feeling is Freedom. Any type of exercise helps you get rid of all that tension, just like dancing - dancing however helps you let go of feelings emotionally, lets you express how you feel. Dancing for me helps me to let go of emotions that I hold on to - running helps me to put everything into perspective.]




It really did make me realize for the first time that you will not have respect for others and others will not have respect for you as a human being and for who you are until you have first gained respect for yourself. And it is also true what they say: - "you are what you eat."


Here is a great quote:


"On my fridge I have a saying that I have had for years; it goes like this:
'What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.'
This saying applies to everyone no matter what your lifestyle is."
Catherine Pulsifer


It also helped me gain back my spirituality again - it was almost as if all the stuff I was feeding myself and the restriction from exercise was causing a blockage in my spiritual energy flow and therefore also stopping me from functioning properly and from reaching my potential. 


Even now while I am writing this down I am starting to feel a little better - getting this out has given me motivation to start upping up my game again - Even though I may not have picked up weight and may not need to do anything with my lifestyle I know I have slacked a bit when it comes to exercise and I have not been strict enough when it comes to my diet this winter. I am going to get my jogging shoes back on tonight and get this booty moving again - because it is not about being skinny or looking better than someone else and all those superficial things - it is about feeling good about yourself, inside and out - and that is our ultimate goal in the end is it not? To be happy. :-)


Hope this inspired someone else too. 


Espavo!